Because Everything Shitty Promotes Satan

The other night I was just minding my own business, catching up on some reading I have for college when I heard my little sister sobbing as she went upstairs at our home. Naturally, as a brother, I asked her what was she crying about. (Actually, I asked her because I wanted to gossip and I was bored, but being a brother sounds nicer) Anyway, she told me all about the religious nuts in their high school.

But before I proceed with the story, (and maybe a life lesson if that's your thing), let me give you a background on my sister. If I were to describe her, I would say her heart's bigger than her brain. I don't mean to undermine her intelligence, but I do believe that even though she's 17, she still has that kind appearance any innocent and decent child would have. However, though having a kind demeanor, she's still grounded and down to earth, and perhaps more mature than any of the kids in her high school. She studies at a "prestigious" and "decent" Catholic Chinese all-girls school in San Juan, Greenhills. (I hope that gives you enough information).

Anyway, back to topic. In that oh so respectable school lies the monsters (religious fundamentalists/nut jobs whose families have the money and influence to. . . more on that later) of tomorrow. You see, there's this mandatory retreat students in this high school go to. I'm not gonna name the retreat in the name of privacy. (It would give more information about the school. Which might get me sued or something. Getting sued sucks ass). One of the prerequisites or traditions of this retreat is have some student who has gone through the retreat, be a sponsor to another: pay for some of the snacks given to the sponsored, and the most important task, distribute palancas (a sort of feel-good letter whose purpose is to make you love God and your family more, be thankful and shit to everything. It's given to people who wants to say something to the sponsored) to a minimum of, I kid you not, 300 people.

Since my sister's class was the last to go through the retreat in the previous school year, they were offered to sponsor the next batch. Being a good person, and not to mention she wanted to try it just once, she volunteered. And in a span of two weeks, my sister was tasked to produce the said palancas.

Now, here's the god awful part. On the day they had to submit everything needed, her best friend approached her. She asked my sister bluntly, "Why were you disrespectful to the retreat?" (Those aren't the exact words but you get my point). Confused, my sister asked what she meant. It turns out, the students who were organizing the retreat weren't happy at the fact that my sister hand-wrote the template for her sponsoree's palanca. She went on to tell my sister that her whole batch hates her for her sloppy work; they wanted it printed. And for that great act of disrespect to everything the retreat stood for (love, Jesus, family, friends, having a shit-load of nice palancas, buying an iPad) my sister has ruined her sponsoree's chance for happiness. They now believe that the sponsoree will turn to the dark side and make love to Satan all because my sister didn't print the palancas.

I feel you bro.

Oh my god, I'm so disappointed at my sister. Having no printer just because we can't afford one is not an excuse to not have the palancas printed. She could have had someone else print it right? Having someone else be burdened to print the 300 palancas while they're also doing their shit is no excuse and not fucking embarrassing. But hey, what about those printing shops? She must have had the time. After all, we live so far away from her school it literally drains her just to get home and she gets home so early, like on average, 7pm at night. As for the weekends, it's no excuse to not have it printed since there's no printing shops nearby and no one to take her anywhere. It does not make sense why she had to write it by hand. After all, writing at least 300 letters by hand is easy and meaningless; it was disrespectful because she barely had to work for it even though she barely had the resources unlike the others who were able to print their palancas and whose only problems were waiting for the next iPhone.

Now, I know my sister may have made something shitty, but doesn't hard work still count? I mean, I feel it's more meaningful to have toiled over something than go over it the easy way. The way these kids singled out my sister over something so small bugs the crap out of me. There are kids who could be so shallow when it comes to these things, but then again, it's high school. (Fuck that, it's just a piece of paper that was written with a pen, albeit shitty. Jeez.)

It's actually disappointing to see that this highly regarded retreat is nothing more than a joke. If I'm not mistaken, the ideals of this retreat was to acquire a new sense of love and understanding for Jesus, family and friends. But if these kids who went through the retreat base their lessons on receiving a nice set of these so called palancas, then the retreat is a fucking failure. (That's a bold statement I know and I maybe generalizing here, but my numerous experiences with the students at this school further validate my point).

The essence of this tradition has been reduced into nothing more than who gets the best and most number of palancas. The more you have, the more popular you are. The better you have, the more wonderful your experience is. Because everything in the retreat revolves on that piece of paper, and if it's shit, well you won't learn anything.

Didn't Jesus advocate detachment from material possessions? Wasn't he who said that "let he without sin, cast the first stone"? Well, in my sister's case, let she with the nice palanca smite the shitty ones. I hope these kids choke on something. (I'm still bitter about not having a printer).

Mind you, these kids, aren't your average rich kids. These kids come from rich and influential families across the Philippines. They come from families who own big businesses and chances have it, these kids are politically affiliated. These brats, who belittled and cast my sister aside, will probably be the leaders of tomorrow. Won't you feel accepted? So the moral of the story goes like this: print your letters or you worship the devil.

Did I mention to buy an iPad as well?